Starting Over

I feel like I am literally starting over. I have sold my business, in an industry I spent 17 years in. It is time for a new, fresh start. This sounded like such a a good idea at first, it still may be. But, what I am finding is that I sure picked a bad time in our economy to start over. With the layoffs and stockmarket the way it is, and baby boomers still in the workforce, I am not in demand the way I thought I would be.

I had visions of choosing between multiple offers, all clamoring to seduce me to their company, begging me to bring my vast knowledge of business to their boardroom. You live in the same world I do, bet you already guessed, this is not happening.

I sold my business in June of 2008. Since then I have had a real awakening. For instance, the last interview I went on went a little something like this; I am sitting in the lobby of the building, having been cleared by security, given a name badge etc. As I sit there waiting for my interviewer, I notice 2 other potential candidates (I am now assuming for the same position) going thru the same security briefing etc. As the 3 of us sit waiting to be called for an interview I closely survey my competition. I feel pretty good, my new $300 interview attire is far more professional and current than what the other 2 are wearing (I think this is a plus for me). I am a little older than one, and a lot older than the other (I still think I am the leading candidate based on this), one appears to be mid 30s, one appears to be late 20s. I am 40 (pretty sure we have established this). I am certain that neither has the professional experience I do, so, bring it on! Give me the job!

It is right about this moment that the interviewer comes out and addresses us as a group. She says exactly the following: "We are not really hiring right now. I am going to give you 2 choices; you can either complete a formal application now or come back when we are actually hiring".

WHAT!!?? I am livid, I don't let it show. But I am thinking about the callback that I received from the company just the evening before to confirm my interview time, I am thinking about the $300 spent on this outfit that I now feel looks like a table cloth. I decide to maintain composure and see how I might be able to save this day. So I politely ask if I do complete an application at this time, will it be saved and reviewed when they are hiring, the response "Won't really do you any good".

Then why the hell give me 2 options, I think to myself. The other 2 candidates are not quite as polite as I . They each have a nasty comment and storm out (somehow, I still feel like I win lol).

This is a perfect example of what is happening in our workplace environment these days. We are all scared, and for good reason. I just showed up for an interview and was told to go home, a lot of people are showing up to work their regular schedule and told to go home. Of the two options, oddly, I prefer to be told to leave at the interview time. I did not count on it, people are counting on their jobs to be there.

So, after many months of disappointment I am considering something way out of the "norm" for me. It is something I think I would be really good at, plus my soul needs nourishing, and I think what I have in mind is just the thing to do it. Before I tell you what it is, keep in mind, I have been an accomplished and successful business woman. I have pushed a lot of paper, talked on the phone for hours to clients, etc. Been responsible for payroll, taxes, keeping vendors happy, keeping clients happy, preparing and giving industry related speeches, and have even appeared on local television as an expert, along with notariety in a national publication.

So, what am I considering? I am considering, and actually hoping, that I can become employed as an in home senior care provider. Just recently received an email in response to my inquiry about the position, I am really excited. So what's the problem (besides the fact that I don't have the job yet)?

The problem is, what will other people think of my new occupation? This is not a glamorous position, not a well paid position. I am relatively well known in my community, my friends tend to be accomplished business women and men, with not much charity in their hearts. I will become the talk of happy hour (can you believe what she is doing now?). I know this to be true, I know there will be one or two that will try to "defend" me. Do I really need defending? And let's try to visulaize the next function I attend....all asking me how I like my new job, what do I do, etc. Now, we all know what the job will entail, cleaning, talking, cooking. But I don't think that fully encompasses what I envision. I want to help someone, I want to make someone happy. That is hard to verbalize to a group of people that base your worth on your income and the handbag that you carry.

It could be that I am being too harsh on them, although, I don't think so. It could be that I have not fully come to terms with such a life changing move, I don't think that is it either. So, why am I worried about this? I think it is because I know, it is more than just a job change, it will probably change my life. All of this and I don't even have the job yet...