Runaway Mouth on Runaway Blabbering

First, I did not intend to choose this blog "type". But, I am easy these days, I don't give a shit. It seems like whatever is chosen for me is ok. It seems like anything I would choose would be worse anyway. Wanna guess why I feel this way? Well, these days anything I choose seems to fail so why not let the "universe"choose for me? How much worse can it be? (all this will become clearer (is that a word?) as we get to know one another.

I'm not sure if I should begin with my failures or not, but, seeing as how they are so common and prevalent, why the hell not? Number one, anyone else ever lost over a million dollars in just a couple of years? (no drugs involved). Number two, Anyone else ever lost a home they once paid cash for? (no scheme involved here either, and btw that home cost over $250,000 10 years ago! in Omaha, NE.). Ok, so you haven't done either of those, here are a few more bonehead things...did you lose a job that was "sweet"?....let me clarify, I am uneducated, had a job that paid over $90,000 annually, that I loved and I was super good at. (mind you that $90,000 annually in Omaha, NE 10 years ago was pretty damned good). But, oh no, wait for it....it gets so much better. I was 30 years old and had the world by the balls (don't expect sweet talk from me) I was fucking hot, I mean hot, I should probably post a picture here but it is just too depressing(I will explain why later).

I am so not trying to depress anyone, but as long as I am, fuck you, you can be too. Did you ever have a time in your life when you thought you were "the shit"? No? well let me help you with what that feels like...Super good looking, young, rich, well known (maybe even call it famous, in your own backyard), the best clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, hair, vacations. This is only the tip of the iceberg. But, just like global warming, it all melted away.

It is now that I find it hard to continue the story. Isn't this where the healing is supposed to begin? I don't feel it. I thought if I wrote all this down I would feel better. I don't. I feel just as sorry for myself as I did when it all first happened. Sad thing is, we have just begun. I'll tell you the rest, and all the grisely details,it's just enough for now....