Just when you think you are normal...or doing better, or getting ahead or whatever. I feel a backslide in progress (is that an oxymoron backslide/progress?). I feel it in just about every area of my life right now. I guess if there is anything I could say it would be that I am consistent. I seem to always go back to this feeling. Lately I wonder if I shouldn't go to the doctor and see if I am a candidate for antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication. I hate that I might be "that person". The one that needs medication or even thinks I may be. I carry a lot of baggage around with me about my mother and that same issue...medication for mental and/or emotional issues. The last thing I want to do is be the one that relies on a pacifier for mental health.
I'm gonna pass on that doctor visit for now, but it's there, the what if.
I can't distinguish between what is normal mood swings and what I am experiencing. I am gonna rationalize that what I am going thru is a process normal for someone that is in a constant state of fear after being wrongly jailed, in a constant state of flux as to my job and living situation. I will rationalize that once these things are dealt with that I will no longer feel this anxiety. I have used the term anxiety so much I decided to look up the definition in the dictionary to see if it really is what I am feeling. Here is what it means per Websters:
1 a : painful or apprehensive uneasiness of mind usually over an impending or anticipated ill b : fearful concern or interest c : a cause of anxiety 2 : an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs (as sweating, tension, and increased pulse), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it
That pretty much sums it up. It's just an emotion that must be dealt with. Yep, I'll skip the doctor.
Malicious Extrapolation
9 years ago
Posts
When you are anxious your body produces certain chemicals to help you. For instance, if you are frightened, you body automatically gives you what you need to be prepared to act - adrenelyn. The same thing happens when you are anxious.
ReplyDeleteThe problem results when you have been anxious (over one thing a long time or many small things back to back). Your body becomes "locked" into producing those chemicals.
It's a medical condition and it can be treated. It's also not something you'll have to be treated for life for -- a few weeks of stopping the production of chemicals and you'll be back on your own.