Whole 'Notha' Level of Scared

Tomorrow is my court date to show that I own the insurance agency (for which I was arrested for cashing the checks for). Even though I know I am innocent and free of any guilt...it doesn't feel that way. I am nervous, scared and worried. A weekend in jail will do that to a body. I fear that I will somehow be taken away in silver bracelets again or that I will need additional evidence or something that will drag this out. I have been unable to rest. I can't tell you what a horrible feeling this is.

Reading this it might be easy to say "Oh you're innocent. Everything will be alright". But keep in mind I already spent a weekend in jail and I was innocent...this thought does not leave me. In short, I am worried the system will somehow work against me. If you have never been in this position, and it is a fairly good guess that most of you haven't, then you don't know the fears it feeds. I think about all the people that are incarcerated or even have death sentences and they don't deserve them. I think about the man released a few years ago after spending 30 years in jail and then finally they found the "real" killer (this happened right here in Omaha).

People I tell ya' this is scary shit. I like to think I'm tough but this is a "whole 'notha' level" of worried. I am trying to use the positive thinking approach. You know the one where if you think good things they will happen. But I am sucked back into the negative. Easy to understand, again I say I have already spent one weekend in jail over this!

So, if you don't hear from me for a while...you will know why.