Waiting

Today I was supposed to go see the facility in Iowa that I will potentially transfer to. I didn't go.

Perhaps I didn't go because I had a funfilled evening with friends (read: too much to drink). Or, perhaps I am not sure it is the right thing to do. Do we ever know if what we are doing is the right thing to do?

I am 41 years old and still don't trust my judgement 100%. That could be the result of a few huge mistakes on my part. But I reason that you can't live this long without some mistakes. I'm not sure that everyone's mistakes are as big as the ones that I have made or perhaps they are right in line with the mistakes that everyone else makes just to me they seem huge because they are mine.

Perhaps my real fear is that I am being selfish. I am missing excitement. Is there anything more exciting than moving and changing your whole life? I haven't done that in 11 years.

I suppose I will sit back and wait for what the world has to offer. No rushing the universe, no rushing me. Just waiting...waiting for the answer to hit me in the head.