The Midget and the Caveman

Well, my weekend with the midget was great fun! The man that she introduced me to started out ok. Not entirely unattractive, but not really my "type" either. But I kept an open mind. It slammed shut pretty damn quickly when I realized he was something of a primitive man (insert caveman).

The first night all seemed well but I knew this man was not for me. I was sure not to send mixed signals but also to continue to have fun. That night as I settled into the couch and right before I was ready to doze off the yahoo walked up to the couch and said "Woman, you can sleep in here if you want" and he pointed to his bedroom. I said "Thank you, I'm good."

Now most people might think that would have sufficed, not so fast. Caveman had another alluring and seductive proposal. I need to set this up for you a bit first. I have very long hair, well passed the middle of my back. When I sleep at night, I tend to put my hair in a long braid, which is what I did that night...

Caveman must have thought it looked just right for pulling me to his bedroom. I felt a tug of my hair and then the next charm riddled proposal "Hey! really come on in here and sleep. (tug tug on my hair) come on woman." I sat up quickly, turned on the lamp, looked him square in the eye and said "I am not so easy that a caveman can do it". I will give you a minute to let that sink in.

The following day he wanted to discuss if I was attracted to him or not. I told him I wasn't but that it had been fun hanging out with him as part of the group. He kept on about if there was any one specific thing that he did that perhaps he could make up for. I told him that besides the obvious, calling me woman and pulling my hair, that I didn't think he was used to dating smart women. Well, that must have really insulted him. He wanted to play scrabble to prove that he was smarter than me. Instead of demeaning him any further with what I was certain would be a sure win on my part. I declined to play and said "Not necessary. I didn't say you were not smart, I said you are not used to smart women".

I stayed the second night and this time he tried a new approach. He sat at the end of the couch and started to rub my feet. Now something like that really has a much better chance of working, but after the initial caveman approach I just couldn't get interested.

This morning at 6:00 a.m. (my scheduled departure time) he kicked the couch and said "Hey woman it's time to get up".

It sure made me glad that the foot rub didn't work either!!!