Still Cautious

Lately so many good things have been happening that frankly I am beginning to worry. I suppose that after a year of hell, and a few years of angst I am probably due for some good things just based on the law of averages. But honestly I kinda feel nervous.

I can't be sure if good things are happening because I am making them happen or it's just a cruel joke from the universe and any minute I may go back to the pitiful circumstances I once found myself in. I sure hope it is the rewards of hard work and determination, and let us not forget the incredible support from others that are making these good things happen.

I feel excited yet cautious. I hate to let a moment like this pass without thanking someone , or something, for fear that the goodness will go away. I am beginning to take some calculated risks therefore I am really nervous. Afraid that perhaps I still can't trust my own judgement. There was a time when I was so lost that my judgement was not to be trusted, now I hope that I have regained some of the reason that was so far away from me.

Don't get me wrong I have made some good decisions in my life, it's just been a really long time.

Is worrying about something bad happening gonna bring badness? Does expecting good bring good? I cetainly don't know the answer to those questions but just in case I am gonna err on the side of caution and say that a lot depends on your thought process.

I am going to expect good things. I am going to be thankful for the goodness. I am still however, going to be cautious.