Women and their wicked female spawn

Warning for men, this post is about a woman , her spawn and PMS!

I remember when I first started my period I was emotional for about 5 days before it started. I would cry at the drop of a hat. When I got into my 30's I became bitchy any little thing could set me off. Now that I am in my forties, there is just no telling what I am gonna be. I could either be emotional or bitchy. For instance, last month I cried because my son would not go see the movie "Up" with me. This month I almost took out an employee and a nurse with my wicked forked PMS tongue. I prefer bitchy.

It's a good thing I prefer bitchy because my 16 year old daughter is pretty bitchy the few days before she starts too. Here is her example...She was driving with me in the front seat and her brother in the backseat in an area she was not familiar with. The exit we needed was coming up so I said "You need to..." I was cut off with her wicked forked tongue, she said " I know what I am doing and where I am going". Right before we were to miss the exit I said "If you know where you are going then you know you are about to miss your exit". Wowza! The rant that followed was amazing. As she struggled to get into the exit area the devil woman exclaimed " Just quit talking! I swear to god I am gonna ram this vehicle into a retaining wall if you don't stop talking!" So I then said, "Are you about to start your period?" Her reply " I DON'T KNOW!".

The next day she started her period and the first thing she said in the morning was " I really owe you an apology".

Now normally I would never allow that sort of talk to me, but I knew what the deal was because she is from my loins. I was just super glad she recognized it the next day. I did however discuss with her that next month when she is ready to ram the car into a retaining wall or is tempted to tell me to shut up she might want to check the date on the calendar first.

We had a great laugh as I mimicked her devil like behavior and even shared a tear (from laughing so hard, next month I am sure it will be tears of emotion that cannot be explained until we check the calendar).

It's a damn good thing we don't have our periods at the same time!