Two Parents and a Teenager

There is a real reason for two parents. One parent alone cannot always be the voice of reason, particularly with a teenager. If you do not have children you are probably thinking that you would always use reason. Ha! A teenager/parent relationship is the most difficult relationship I know of, and I have known boyfriend/girlfriend; husband/wife and child to parent( me being the child); employer/employee (and vice versa) etc.



Still being the parent to a teenager beats all. As a parent your goal is to raise the best adult possible. You hope that in a certain amount of time you have nurtured a child and taught a child the ways of the world and that they will be self sustaining with few defects. That's the goal.



My daughter is challenging, she is 16 years old (say eek with me lol!). She is a LOT like me (I'm not saying that's altoghter a good thing, but not entirely bad either). What I like about her, that she has gleened from me, is that she is hard to sway by peer pressure (no drugs, no alcohol, no sex). I like that we have had candid conversations about all of the above for years. She knows that she can tell me about experiments, which she has, she knows that she can tell me when she thinks it is time for birth control, which she has. BUT.....



What she finds it hard to do, is take responsibility for her actions. EEK again! I am the same way in many circumstances. Tonight she tried. She wrote me a letter telling me some things about her attitude recently that she thought I should know. Ok, good start. I'm a mom and take that admittance with the humility I know it was given.



Her father on the other hand, is very analytical (thank god!). In this particular situation his analytical side definitely beats my mothering sappy side. In other words, he is not wrong.



Even though we have been divorced for 10 years I still appreciate his ability to parent. I don't always agree with it, but isn't that the point to having two parents? You don't have to agree, but someone inevitably has a better "take" on the situation than the other. In tonight's case, his take is better ( you have no idea how hard this is to admit). Instead of being overly sentimental, as I have occasion to do with my children, his analytical side won out in my view.



But I think that is the purpose of having two sides. To LISTEN! to the other parents viewpoint. Tonight I listened and I agreed.

This is for my daughter and her father, he is not wrong!