Need a new fantasy

I used to fantasize about being a motivational speaker. There were a couple of problems with the fantasy. First, I freeze up speaking in front of more than 50 people, it's like I need an iron lung or something. I gasp and choke and can barely breathe...not so good for motivational speaking. Second, no one would believe my backstory so they would probably find it hard to believe in anything I said...not so good for motivational speaking.

Have you ever been to hear a motivational speaker? I never missed a Zig Ziglar speech in my area. I bought all the books, audio cassettes, you name it( to this day a prized possession is an autographed copy of "Over The Top"). I would pay $300 or $400 to attend an all day motivational seminar. These seminars were my refueling to ensure that I stayed in front of the rat race. It worked too, I could sell my ass off. The crowds at these seminars were very much like me, professional sales people mainly, with big houses and fancy cars and clothes. We would all acknowledge one another with that slight nod of the head and half wink. At lunch we would compare careers, neighborhoods and restaurant choices. Ahhh, those were good times...

I was revisiting this fantasy the other day. I was picturing the crowd of 2009. People out of work, once with big paychecks and living the american dream. A 401k that is now a 201k. Health insurance recently cancelled and just found out that the wife is pregnant. Car that has a constant "service engine" light on. A dinner table with a lot of pasta, potatoes or casseroles on it.

I need to update that fantasy, motivational speaker is 1990's. The new term should be survival coach, only no one could afford to attend...

Need a new job fantasy.