There haven't been many times, at least since I was very young, that I wished for time to pass. I am wishing time to pass now.
I missed the March 5th date for school, now I have to concentrate on June 5th. I know I will be enrolled and going to school then. I am just ready to do it now. I am so pumped up and motivated, I just don't want the feeling to leave me. I am afraid of becoming complacent.
In case you think you know what complacent means, let me refresh your memory. It means to be self satisfied without awareness of potential danger or defect.
For me, the potential danger is to become self satisfied in a job, instead of a career. I have been feeling so much better since I have taken this job, that holds very little responsibility, that I fear I may get too comfortable. After 17 years of pushing myself and being accountable for so much I must admit that this feels good.
Remember the movie "American Beauty" where Kevin Spacey takes a job in a McDonalds after a lifetime of high pressure sales? It is just this type of transition that frees the mind, relaxes the soul. It may be ok for awhile, but I don't want it to last.
I will relish in my lack of responsibility for now, but I really want the return of the motivated woman in me.
When I relish in motivation and stress, instead of lack of responsibility, I will know that I am back to myself again.
Come on time...hurry and bring back the motivation and stress! I'm ready to be me again!
Malicious Extrapolation
9 years ago
Posts
a no stress job is just what a soul needs to recharge. I know, making 5 bucks an hour washing boats is not exactly a "hi pressure" job, especially after years of being totally type A. But it gives a person time to concentrate on things that are important, other than success.
ReplyDeleteYou have to ask yourself if going to school is so important, how could you have missed the date. Maybe it isn't time to start yet.
Don't worry, when time is right it all falls into place.
This is just a stepping stone. You've been off work for a while. Haven't done anything as physically demanding as this type of work in a LONG time. You need this adjustment period.
ReplyDeleteGet use to getting up at 4:30 each morning, working with little break, adjust to being to tired to cook meals every night. Then add returning to school; which will have it's own new hurdels to overcome.
This could be a blessing, this period of adjustment.