A Good Man

I often leave the nursing home where I work, shaking my head and contemplating the many different types of people I come into contact with there. But this week has been a bit of a "doozy".

We had a new resident move in to spend his final days there. He is only 53 but it is well known that he has come there to die. His wife chose the nursing home opposed to her home because she did not want their children to watch him die and she fears being the one to find him dead. He is very ill with kidney failure and has had 5 heart attacks. He doesn't suffer much pain but he does have dialysis 3 times a week and that tends to rob a body of all energy.

I was given his basic information upon admittance. His diagnosis, family status etc. I visit all new residents to determine their nutritional needs and to obtain their likes and dislikes in food choices. This generally takes about 30 minutes with an individual. But with this resident it took about 2 hours because he told me his life story.

The kind balding man with a beard as thick as Santa Claus; this father of two and husband to a very nice and loving wife had once been a woman. He was a she until age 32. His wife was his sister's best friend at one time, not anymore. His sister, father and mother all disowned him when he became a man, until he came to the nursing home. Now they were all present and fawning over him. To me that may have been too little too late. To him it was a great blessing. To have the family that had shunned him now cry for his imminent death and all the lost time.

He explained that it was not for him that he was so happy, but for his children and wife. He said that now his wife would have her best friend back and his children would have another set of grandparents and all of that would surely help them manage their personal pain over his death.

I thought him an extremely caring man. I could not see the woman he used to be I could only see a man looking out for his family.

He died on Thursday of this week. He was only at the nursing home for 4 days and unfortunately it was his wife that found him dead after all.

The whole family came up to clean his room out today and I could see that the children were lucky to have the new set of grandparents and that the wife had a friend again in her husbands sister. But it was still a pretty young family missing their father and husband.

He was a good man and not someone I will forget.