Meet "Meg"

I would like to introduce you to another resident of the nursing home. I am not going to give her real name because the story of how she came to be at the home is quite disturbing, so I will call her Meg.

Meg is 32 years old, has 4 very young children. In August of 2008 Meg tried to commit suicide by taking huge quantities of drugs, some legal some not. There is also some speculation that she was possibly beaten by a boyfriend prior to the taking of the drugs. At the time of her attempt Meg was a heroin addicted prostitute with $16,000 in her bank account.

Instead of dying Meg will now have to be cared for by a team of people, one person could never keep up with her physical and emotional needs. She is in a wheelchair; does not have complete control of her bodily functions and needs methadone to keep her somewhat stable. Her mental capacity varies day to day. There is still a boyfriend that visits and calls her occasionally, I have never seen her children.

When Meg first arrived at the facility she was placed on a puree food diet, then she graduated to what is know as mechanical soft (finely chopped or diced meats). In the last few months she has been moved to a regular diet.

These days the only thing that Meg has control over is what she will eat and what she won't. She may go for a few days eating nothing but peanut butter and jelly (it is her way of exercising her small amount of control). Today Meg was prepared to eat the offered lunch. One of the nurses accidentally requested a mechanical soft meal for her. When that lunch was placed in front of Meg she became extremely upset and emotional.

She cried, sobbed really, and then she got angry. She yelled "Fuck you Stacey" to the nurse " I hate you Stacey" "You only want to hurt me Stacey"....and on and on it went. Meg had to be taken to her room and consoled for about 2 hours. She now refuses to eat even though Stacey offered her apologies and the appropriate meal. This could go on for a few days.

Depending on whether or not you sympathize with Meg's story will depend on whether or not you can sympathize with how devastated she was about being denied the meal that she has spent months being able to eat. In Meg's eyes, her accomplishments had been overlooked. I understand that about her. She has worked for months on being able to hold utensils, train her throat to swallow properly and get her mouth to chew.

You and I do not know how difficult the task has been for her. I suppose that Meg has experienced a lot of emotional ups and downs that only she can know the true depth of. Maybe being able to eat the "normal" meal was one of the only "good" things that she can think of when it comes to personal accomplishments.

I feel for Meg. I do not judge her for her prior life. Whatever she may have done wrong, believe me, she is paying for it now and will most likely continue for the rest of her life. But I also wonder how Meg got to the place of attempting suicide in the first place (it doesn't seem like a cry for help; it seemed like she really wanted to die).

I hope one day Meg has a lot personal accomplishments that she can review with pride.