Grunts and Groans...ugh

Ok, I'm gonna admit something that few women admit to or even talk about...I enjoy watching porn with my boyfriend or even alone for that matter. I appreciate a good looking woman (Jillian Michaels from The Biggest Loser is the sexiest woman ever!). If I see an attractive man or woman, I look. The eyes can't help but notice beauty. I don't mind that my man finds women attractive and I don't mind if that same man looks at porn. Here is what I do mind...

I mind that sexual leering at a beautiful woman, comments about said woman as if I am one of the "guys", grunts, groans and flirting. These things I mind a lot! As a matter of fact, I mind it so much that I will break up with someone over it, and have. Here's why...

It makes me feel less important than that  random woman walking down the street or the sexy girl on the shampoo commercial. Is this insecurity or just demanding some respect?

As a younger woman I would have commented on this post and said something to the effect of "confidence is sexy, quit being so insecure". As an older woman I know that younger woman wants to appear cool, confident etc. In reality, her boyfriend has 100 examples of her extreme jealousy.

So, I have decided not to try to appear cool and confident about that type of behavior. No sir, it is not ok. I demand some self control and respect from my significant other. You know what this means though...

I'm gonna have to give that same respect. No more leering at the guy in the grocery store...

Period.

I wish, sometimes, that someone else was in charge of running my life. I am in a life changing moment ,well, not really it's just "that special time of the month" ..ooops did I really just share that? It's basically the same damn thing. We women get emotional and start questioning our lives...the choices that we have made and the ones we are about to make (yes men, we really do this every goddamn month!). Soooo, I suppose the title of this post should be something like...It's time for my period and are you good enough to stick with me through it?...or something like that. It is not just the men in my life that pay for "Aunt Flo"...in my world it is pretty much everyone.

So, in between tampon changes I thought I might send out a few apologies.

I am sorry to my boyfriend: god knows you probably deserve it except for the fact that you piss me off so much and make me feel insecure even though you have no idea you are doing it (even though you spend every waking moment telling me how much you love me). I am sorry to my staff (nope I take that back, y'all piss me off even when I am not having my period). I am sorry to the convenience store attendant that didn't have my kind of coffee ready this morning (nope, screw you it's your job to have it ready). Damn you everyone that does not praise the fact that I am earth...wow, I think I really mean it (at period time).

I hate  people for having human flaws when I am on my period!!! Period.

Don't Look Back, You're Not Going That Way!

Yes, yes I know, kinda predictable that I would post on New Year's Day. So, whether or not you give a shit, I'm gonna post my resolutions (i never stick to 'em anyway so who gives a fuck).

#1. Take 2 days off per week, preferably in a row: OMG let's face it, this might happen 4 times this year. Seriously. But dammit I am optimistic on January 1, 2013.

#2. Go back to school (again): Yep, yep this is a recurring theme. One of these days it is gonna say "finish school".

#3. Take control of my finances: Oh stop, please stop! I am laughing so hard I can barely catch my breath!!! BUT that doesn't mean it can't be a resolution...

I used to think that losing weight, quitting smoking were viable resolutions. Hell now I just want normal crap. Forget the size 6, won't ever see it again. Forget quitting smoking, not gonna happen without a doctor's note.

The best I can hope for on a realistic level....just be normal. C'mon even that's a stretch!!

Let's just resolve to not look back.

Happy New Year!