To date there has been nothing more hurtful than looking at a home that I loved emptied of all my belongings and the new owners sitting on my/their fireplace waiting for my final exit. The pain of leaving a home and life that I loved behind has stayed with me for years.
Now, after almost 4 years I finally feel some peace regarding that day. I guess you could say I have just now put it in its proper place, the past. Why now? I suppose time has something to do with it. But more than that it is that finally I have a future somewhere else. I had always pictured my life lived out in that house until I wanted to leave for something better. That is not the way it happened. I had to leave that house for financial reasons, and did not go to something better.
My financial present is changing rapidly. I hate to get too excited about it because I know the twists that life can bring. But I do have guarded excitement. My career is going extremely well, a large sum of money that has been owed for years is finally starting to be paid to me. My living expenses are far below my earnings. It has been almost 10 years since that has been the case.
I am not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination but I have a peaceful, low stress existence, at least compared to 4 years ago.
I honestly never pictured a way in which this was possible. I couldn't imagine then how I could "rebound" from such personal and financial disaster. Even up to as recently as a year ago I couldn't picture how it would be done. Again, I maintain guarded excitement. I hang on to the healthy fear that things could always change. That is probably the biggest lesson I have learned through all of this financial and personal upheaval, I am not immune to the worst the world has to offer.
I will continue to maintain the guarded excitement, but on the inside there is a little me that is jumping up and down for the joy of living life again.
4 years has been a long time to be in such pain. I hope I never have to revisit that life lesson again.
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